Yesterday, I
cried. I wept solidly for 15 minutes while sitting at my laptop trying to work
out how to make a website. I needed a break. After a quick cup of Chamomile tea
and a square of chocolate, I went back to the laptop, stared at what was in
front of me and started crying again. At about 8.30pm I finally gave in. After
sending an angry email to my ‘website consultant’, I retired to my bed with
knitting in hand.
“If I can’t
make sense of this website, I will make a scarf!”
Well, I made
a bit of scarf, allowing myself to drop off in dim light, the bed strewn with
yarn, needles and a couple of books in mid read. I slept soundly, undisturbed.
This morning
I woke up and felt….better! A lot better! I spent the evening before beating
myself up for not always succeeding, for failing to get a date, for getting a
blow out on a very bald car tyre the day before. Somehow, allowing the misery to take-over purged the upset within and
cleared the air.
This Sunday
morning is a new day and I
feel somewhat invigorated. Consenting to the mild spat of depression, was
accepting myself for all my failings, as natural as they are. The life of a
singleton (in rural Ireland) can be a thorny road. Starting a business up as a
sole trader, during a recession is rocky road. Looking out at another day can be …… inspiring!
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