Monday, 5 May 2014

Fear & Trembling

“Bran thought about it. 'Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?'
'That is the only time a man can be brave,' his father told him.”

What is it? The one thing that makes you quiver, wretch, draws pill sized goosepimples up on your skin, just at a thought or memory? There is the dreadful Spider family, the shimmering Heights at the top of a ladder or the slither of a cold hypodermic Needle into the arm. Ouch! My personal best is Agoraphobia which is defined in medical terms as: “The fear of situations in which escape is difficult.” I prefer this to a fear of going outside as I regulary go outside and find I have no fear at all. In fact, I quite enjoy the experience of engaging in a varying environments. The problem develops when I am unable to leave!
The dentist has particular control on creating this fear. Not only do you know you have to go, but when you get there, you can’t leave. A visit to the dentist is prolonged torture. The build up to what you can expect, the percieved sinister smile when you enter the surgery and their abiltiy to jam as many metal objects into your mouth as possible. While this is happening, they usually start up a lively converstion asking if you feel any pain! Please, take a snapshot....
The Far Side
Sometimes, I feel similar pain while working. The fear of facing my bank balance, the paper work my accountant insisted I should organise, the fear of the unknown each time I lift the needles and begin. What should emerge, what will emerge. A little bit of’s hoping. Working creatively is liberating, captivating but also incarcerating. You are confined and let loose at the same time. It makes the journey all the sweeter and more enjoyable but like all sweets, that trip to the dentist will ensue!
Thankfully, the apprenhension of fear is all in your head. Stay sane, stay knitting...and stay hungry. Thanks Steve, for that one.

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