Sunday, 13 January 2013

I love you, Bilbo Baggins!

“I am looking for someone to share in an adventure that I am arranging, and it's very difficult to find anyone.' 
I should think so — in these parts! We are plain quiet folk and have no use for adventures. Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner!” 

This week, I finally got to see The Hobbit. I’m a bit of a Middle Earth fan, not hardcore, but I enjoyed the books a few years back and was very excited at the announcement of the first of the Rings Trilogy.

During and after watching the The Hobbit, I felt I was falling in love with Bilbo as played impeccably by Martin Freeman. Truth be told, I have always had a thing for Mr. Freeman, ever since we were introduced to him in The Office. I wanted to date the hapless Tim and now I want to marry Bilbo. He is perfect at this stage of my life:
·      He likes food, cooking & eating. He has a full pantry.
·      He has a nice home in the country.
·      He is adventurous.
·      He is single.
·      He likes books.

The Shire is so familiar to me coming from farming background myself. I see a field of Alpacas keeping company close by while I wile away the sunny days, knitting, reading and engaging in a bit of cleaning, I suppose. Such a great place to start a family of our own. So what to make for our little baby Baggins?.....

.... Perfect!
Okay, so Bilbo is a little shorter and little hairier than I would have hoped but I’m open-minded. He has taken a liking to walking around barefoot but then again, so do I, while at home at least.  There is that problem with that blasted Ring though, giving my Bilbo the ability to disappear, at will, as he places the Ring on his finger.

“I think it’s your turn to do the washing-up.”


I remind Bil, it’s his turn to give Baby a night feed, only to be faced by a warm empty space in the bed. And what with his friends? A very tall man in a pointy hat shows up at the door asking if Bilbo is in and that’s it…..I won’t see him until poor Baby is celebrating his 18th birthday!

It brings me back to a few years ago when I had a massive crush on Strider from The Rings Trilogy. My darling Strider, you would go off and marry that Elven  harlot. Okay, she had unnatural beauty, spoke poetically and was a dab hand at horseriding, but still!

Oh January, I think it’s time to return to the dating sites.
“Desperately seeking a short, hairy man who likes adventures and doesn’t wear Rings!”

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